Mum and I Fallout

Sarah isn’t the only person I’ve fallen out with recently.

Abi recently shared a little pinky handshake with Simon Cowell. She was on her way down for an x-ray, and he was visiting his ailing mother in a ward in a different part of the hospital. I posted about their meeting on Facebook and made a joking comment about Simon Cowell’s bad haircut. Unfortunately, it seems my mum has a soft spot for Mr Cowell, because, in reply, she posted: “how cruel!” I messaged her and told her that if she had to have a humour failure, perhaps she could do it privately?

Shortly afterwards, her partner emailed me and admonished me for telling my mum off. Unbelievable! He went on to say that a blog I had written, where I had spoken, briefly, about some of the fallouts I had had with Sarah, was: “airing your dirty linen in public.” I sent him a curt email back and explained to him that my blog was my only means of support and I needed to vent sometimes.

More emails were exchanged. Mum’s partner advised that I should not “burn bridges”. Unfortunately, I did not feel inclined to listen to demands from a man who, during the most difficult of times, was unable to find any supportive words, and instead chose to find fault. I had not heard from him in the month that Abi had been in the hospital and it was unfortunate that he chose that first opportunity to have a go at me. Nor was I particular impressed that he had not found the time to visit his granddaughter. She would have loved that.

My mum has also emailed me since, telling me: “You know I am struggling to get well, and your attitude is not helping.” Trying to pin guilt on me while I am struggling to cope with Abi’s ill-health just annoyed me more. After all, I am not responsible for my mum’s well-being. She needs to be responsible for that herself. Especially when Abi, who’s health I am responsible for, needs me much more.

I’m aware my mum is suffering from depression, but I am at the end of my tether with worry about Abi and cannot afford to expend any effort coping with the complication of my parent’s uncivil behaviour towards me. Whatever the reason. I need to give all of my energy to my children, and Abi in particular, and create a happy, supportive environment. Or at least, as close as possible to that, given the circumstances. So I have decided that I can do without my parents particular brand of “support” and have asked them to stop emailing me.