Six months after Abi was discharged, we were back at the hospital for the results of an MRI. The news was good; although the surgeon had left a bit of tumour, it had not grown in the preceding months, so there was no need for further treatment.

The news actually made me feel like a bit of a fraud. When Abi was first rushed to the hospital, I had glimpsed a darker world, where a fight for life itself was an everyday reality. But it was also a blessed world, full of love. Now I was back with a perfectly normal, healthy 2-year old, and no longer part of that world. But a realisation dawned on me; it was a privilege to have seen that place. I should not feel fraudulent, but rather I should hold that place dear to my heart and use it to become a much more compassionate, forgiving and selfless human being.

Little was I to realise then that it was I was not going to be so readily freed from that darker world.

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